the best gift you can give loved ones
My late wife’s last Christmas wish was to share this story and hopefully encourage a few smokers to rise above the insidious addiction that eventually took her life. It has been republished each year since her passing.
by LSI Managing Partner Art McNeil
December, 2000
My wife and I have always loved the holiday season, but this year our exposure to hustle & bustle is restricted to watching doctors and dedicated nurses save lives. There are only five more shopping days to Christmas and I am writing from a thoracic surgery ward. Between each line, I watch helplessly as my love struggles valiantly to survive. Judy is recovering from a pneumonectomy (lung removal). During the surgery, her vocal cord was paralyzed. No longer will I, our girls, nor her grandchildren hear familiar words of love and encouragement from this special lady.
Christmas will be uncharacteristically quiet this year, and it will be lonely. Our family understands that barring a miracle, it will be Judy’s last. Yet hugs and kisses will be in short supply because in her weakened condition, catching a germ or virus could end things much too quickly. Suddenly, every moment is precious—beyond anything either of us could have imagined. The experience has left us with a heightened respect for life. Never again will we take the dawn of a new day or the presence of loved ones for granted. Ironically, six months prior to being diagnosed with lung cancer, Judy had finally managed to give up smoking.
Lung cancer is in large part, a smoker’s disease. Addicts continue killing themselves and damaging the health of innocent loved ones who have no choice in the matter. Denial allows smokers to dismiss their addiction as a “filthy habit” but playing Russian roulette with human life makes no sense. The cost is much too high. My wife is paying with her life. Advertisers promote the benefits of their products but they are held accountable to present the truth. If tobacco companies were forced to follow suit and declare what the product actually does for the consumer, commercials would show emaciated victims gagging spasmodically as they cough up blood. Judy met such a victim–in the mirror. It was a terrifying and heartbreaking experience. A great philosopher once said, “Nothing focuses the mind like the shadow of the gallows.”. The following message is in my wife’s own words.
“It’s not so much the physical pain of surgery or worrying about the traumatic end awaiting me. Nor is it accepting that I will never again participate in family activities that I love. What is really getting to me is having to face fear in the eyes of my loved ones. It hurts to not have a satisfactory answer for inquisitive grandchildren who can’t understand what’s happening. Putting one’s family through such anguish is unforgivable. I continued to smoke, in spite of evidence that pin points cigarette smoking as the number one cause of lung cancer. Please, I beg of you, do what ever it takes to quit smoking. I lost a lung, shortened my life, and sabotaged my loving family. I knew better but procrastinated. Now it’s too late. If you can’t quit smoking for yourself, for God’s sake stop for friends and family—they deserve better.”
Judy McNeil, December 20, 2000
In loving memory of Judy McNeil 1946—2001
Available for unlimited distribution to any organization or person provided that credit is displayed and that no edit takes place without the author’s written permission. An electronic copy will be provided upon request.
This post sponsored by: The American Cancer Society
